props2spusic's Xanga

Fare thee well, Xanga

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 09:44:40 GMT

I got into this xanga community kind of late. Then I finally got one because of my St. Louis trip documentation needs. I feel like I never got the full experience of xanga with like a bazillion people commenting and writing new entries. But now xanga is pretty much a ghost town. I've been hesitant to leave anyway, just because of all the history and tradition of it all, and because I generally don't like change.

But now is the time. My college career to this point has basically been a continuation of my high school career. But starting next quarter, I will be moving in a different direction. Improvement, direction, drive, activity. And a new (hopefully more mature) blog.

Let's do this.

RIP, June 2005-November 2008

Acknowledgements: Thanks to all who have read my xanga somewhat loyally and most of the time written better and more interesting posts than mine: Bballcards, for who this xanga would not exist without. Cubsfanatic, who went down with the xanga ship last. Jennyurr, for always being there to talk. MonkYiBu, who's outrageous xanga post rate of one post every 4 years I'm hoping will continue. Minap0o, for breaking down all of her essential glamor equipment/materials. Nithizzle, for being the last person i expected to get a xanga. Airvinny, who I still think has a pretty cool xanga name. Holla at Rodman, for making all of his old posts and unique writing style public again. Moosetastesgood, for not being afraid to express himself on a blog. Flamin Hot, for all the times commiserating. DukeRooster, for those silly sports preditions. warnerrocks, for never actually revealing your identity. Drumsetdude, who probably is most dilligent in methodically documenting his life here. riiicosuaveee who has better writing skills then she thinks. Samadi for that airy and mysterious feature column style. eCsuPA for being a spiritual role model. Randplaty for his thought-provoking posts. linda_noh for well, writing those blogs that only linda noh can produce. diqless aZn for overcoming his slightly confusing screen name. And for everyone else who took the time to read my stuff. Hopefully at least some of it was worthwhile.

Here's looking at you, kids.

http://dvdgao.blogspot.com/

freedom

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:10:38 GMT

sometimes i wish someone would just mandate what kind of job you had to pursue based on some big test that never failed in accurately placing people into their optimal career.

or maybe just everyone tell me the same advice of what to become. thats cool too.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:03:56 GMT

for small groups testimonies, we have to share a girl story. What the experience was like, what you learned from it, why things happened like they did...

And I don't quite know what to say.

Keep up your practical front, don't cave in to feelings of absolute "true love"? Because even though you may be having the time of your life, and she says that there shouldn't be a practical front, there eventually will be a practical front. So if you lose it yourself, don't expect the other person to never lose it.

As 18 and 19 year olds, no one is who they will be as adults. College is maturation, and changing. Hopefully for the better. But to evaluate each other as finished products, is rather pointless.

So what is the point of a relationship then at this point in time. To enjoy each others company. To have a best friend of the opposite sex. To help each other grow and learn about being a better person. For simple happiness. To have crazy dreams about one day marrying that person and how great life would be at that point. But how can you know if the other person thinks about things like that. You can't.

Dont' ever take things for granted. Communication is key. Actions may speak louder than words, but actions can get misunderstood too.

You shouldn't believe your girlfriend is your best friend or even automatically trust her as your good friend for all eternity. until you're married. Life is not a fairytale. Which is why it is so important to have close guy friends. You can trust them til the end of time.

But you can't give up hope either. Get over the last girl if she can get over you so fast. No matter how hard it is. Everyone has weaknesses...and you can always dwell on them and block out their strengths. Instead, improve and better yourself as a person. Wait for the next girl that you can't stop making eye contact with. And you can just talk hours upon hours without running out of things to say. And your day will always just be brightened by seeing them. And you happen to have a lot of mutual interests so you can go to a lot of events together, and then critique them afterwards. And you're proud of what they accomplish as people, and how well they get along with everyone. And when they smile, something just melts inside you, everytime.

beginning of a nonsense book

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 07:56:35 GMT

He looked down at his new adidas superstars as a tiny beetle scuttled by. His foot debated moving the few inches over to squash the pest, before ultimately deciding he did not want to deal with looking at the smeared remnants. After sparing the insect of his brutality, he heard the distant rumbling and canary yellow school bus rumbling towards him.

He remembered to correct his posture before climbing aboard the bus, putting on a calm and collected demeanor as he discretely judged the people already sitting down on the bus. A girl with a cute face and outift to match. He was already moving past her before considering the opportunity to sit down next to her. Instead, he found a seat for himself in the very back. Jostling to and fro, his legs uncouthly propped up on the hump over one of the wheels, Greg Bainwell was on his way to the first day of high school. The beatle had managed to tuck itself in his rolled up jean cuff, along for the ride.

edited again.

pretend you're picking up a middle school fiction book. i think it could work.

Satchel Paige Quotes

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:44:15 GMT

I stumbled across these today, even though I should probably be stumbling over DNA Polymerases some more.

It struck me how much his quotes owned (period. and me.)

It's not what you don't know that hurts you. It's what you know that just ain't so.

Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money.

Don't go to college, unless to get knowledge.

Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.

Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 23:32:34 GMT

So this weekend I had the opportunity to shock the xanga community by writing like Linda Noh on Linda Noh's xanga... except i guess they wouldn't even be shocked because no one would have known!

mind-boggling isn't it?!

Recently I have been listening to one of relient k's old CD's, mmhmm a lot. The funny thing is that it has never been my favorite relient k cd, and when I first heard it, I wasn't even blown away or immediately hooked. But it hung around... and now I find that I enjoy it more than ever before.

This opposed to some songs or CD's that when you first hear, you're just like wow thats really catchy, but then later on you get sick of those songs. Ex. all-american rejects, matchbox 20, pretty much all r&b/hiphop songs. So there's this brief infatuation period, usually when you first hear it, where you're like "OMG this is the best thing ever!!" but then later you're just like ugh skip...

This is a long and probably unnecessarily drawn-out analogy to friendships with girls. The latter type is when you meet a girl and you're just blown away by how attractive (and in rarer cases, how excessively nice) she is. Thinking about a relationship too quickly because of these immediate attractions is like thinking a song that is immediately catchy will be your favorite forever too. Sure it happens... but it also doesn't happen a lot. So... we should all appreciate those songs/cd's that take awhile to really love/appreciate, because usually that slowly built up friendship is longer lasting and less susceptible to crapping out in the future. And not crapping out in the future is a very important aspect of friendships.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 03:01:23 GMT

it strikes like lightning. then realization hits again.

but its just suppose to dissolve with no precipitation. 50% gone in 1 day.

and a math midterm tomorrow. i could care less if it diverges, or if you need complex exponentials.

me the creepy one? no no no... thats not how its suppose to work.

the care cannot just go away in a day.
neither can the pain.

this whim. this just because. doesn't seem fair.

the loss of something beautiful

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 05:22:52 GMT

when i first met her
there was something special there
and over the last year
it has been confirmed

something so easy and true
it was spontaneous
even when i was not

talking about everything
and nothing at the same time
just being there was enough

happiness to her was happiness to me
with some bittersweetness in between
but that comfort was so reassuring
so valuable

if i just lay here, she would lay here with me
we could stand on a mountain and bathe in a sea
but most of all just call to say i love you

i've lost something beautiful
but i hope i haven't lost the friendship, the care
that acknowledging look of amusement and understanding
which is so priceless

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 16:06:25 GMT

I am too sentimental for my own good.
Keeping journals, facebook photos/wall-to-wall's, scrapbooks, saving aim conversations, refusing to throw away my old baby blankets, buying commerative dvd's, keeping newspapers, keeping ticket stubs, remembering the most insignificant things about years past, so that I can delight in strolling down memory lane with people...
where does all of this stuff get me? My dad would be quick to say 'absolutely no where.'
Its not like one day I decided to be sentimental. I think its genetic. I use to be kind of proud, or at least happy that I kept all that stuff, but now I realize how utterly pathetic it all is. My mind gets wasted on these trivial matters, and stuff I actually need to remember, like biology, goes by the wayside. I think I am bothered for a longer period of time if I lose a friend, or if someone thinks negatively of me, then if I were to get a bad grade on a test.

Pathetic.

This xanga was originally started to record my memories from a trip to St. Louis the summer before my junior year. Now, pretty much no one is on xanga, and I still write in this stupid thing. Why?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 05:31:31 GMT

In John 8, a bunch of people are about to stone a woman for committing adultery, when Jesus comes and says "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Everyone walks away and the woman doesn't get stoned.

On the drive home from LA today, I randomly was thinking about how pathetic of a person I am in many ways, and this parable came to me. Who are we to judge and criticize people when all of us have sins of our own? We should try to understand and communicate, converse and learn.